


Churches and Demons (don't mix well)

by DesIsSleepDeprived, LaraDarkness, Mumei_PRS, true_weak_lincs



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Do it, Envy - Sam, Fundy harem?? more likely than you think, Fundy. deserves. all. da. bois, Gluttony - 5up, Greed - Punz, Kinda, Lust - HBomb, M/M, Multi, Pride - Dream, Sloth - George, Wrath - Sapnap, as you can see these two are last because we respect boundaries, eret is fundy's uncle and got kicked outta the church cause he adopts demons, is this based off of helltaker, it came out of someone finishing helltaker and bam this was created, phil is fundy's grandpa, respecting cc’s boundaries is very pog, tags will be edited/updated as we go along!, the others are the seven capital sins so if you read this far you can see what roles they have:, this is your regular church fic, tommy is fundy's uncle, wilbur is fundy's dad and a church pastor, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:48:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28426527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesIsSleepDeprived/pseuds/DesIsSleepDeprived, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaraDarkness/pseuds/LaraDarkness, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mumei_PRS/pseuds/Mumei_PRS, https://archiveofourown.org/users/true_weak_lincs/pseuds/true_weak_lincs
Summary: Or do they?
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy, Floris | Fundy/5up, Floris | Fundy/Everyone, Floris | Fundy/GeorgeNotFound, Floris | Fundy/Karl Jacobs, Floris | Fundy/Liam | HBomb94, Floris | Fundy/Luke | Punz, Floris | Fundy/Nick | Sapnap, Floris | Fundy/Sam | Awesamdude, Floris | Fundy/XD(Dream)
Comments: 56
Kudos: 306





	1. The summoning

**Author's Note:**

> Credits for the harem goes to nicadenic on tumblr and LaraDarkness here!!  
> Also, their roles aren’t specifically mentioned here and they won’t appear much in most of the prompts, but  
> Karl is a human and XD is a angel

Fundy doesn’t really know why he was doing this ritual. Or well, he  _ did _ , but was this really going to be the best idea? He just didn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps.

His father, Wilbur Soot, is the pastor of the church that Fundy was raised in for most of his childhood. Fundy, meanwhile, was a pastor-in-training. It wasn’t that Fundy didn’t like the church, or well, he didn’t like the  _ building _ , it was all so… blindingly white and pure. Far from what humanity is. Humanity isn’t fully white, but it isn’t black either. It’s multiple shades of grey-some on a lighter scale, and the others on a darker one. Even heaven and hell aren’t fully black and white, they co-exist together. Or at least, that’s what Fundy believes.

The building was sickening, almost, reminding Fundy of the white streaks in his own hair. His father always said that it was god trying to clear Fundy of any trace of Satan, given that gingers were often considered to be Satan’s apostles. Fundy hates it whenever Wilbur says that. Sometimes, he wonders where his old dad went, the one who wasn’t so obsessed with the church. It was almost like he disappeared with his mother, leaving a shell that was so deeply buried in his own ideals that there was hardly anything human left. 

Well, Fundy just wants to be free. He hated this church, the one that turned his father into the god-obsessed maniac he is today, the one that trapped him for all his life in between holy walls.

But was trying to summon a demon really worth it?    
Yes, yes it was. 

Because not only did Fundy fail to summon a demon, he somehow managed to summon  _ seven _ demons that each represented one of the seven capital sins. So now, not only does Fundy have seven different demons tailing him, he has to hide it from everyone else in the church. And that’s hard, especially considering he has the demon of  _ lust _ on his trail, and one of the others was infatuated with him already. Fundy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sat on his bed, staring at the seven demons that were all squeezed into his room. 

“So, are you guys ever going away?”   
“Nope.” All seven of them chimed in unison.

“Why not?”   
“Because we need to fulfill what you summoned us for, which we can’t without knowing what it is.” The one with a black mask shrugged.

Fundy sighed again, shoulders drooping. “...can I at least get your names?”   
“I’ll start, master~” The one with… questionable cat ears and a tail offered. “I’m H, a demon of lust.” He did a curtsey in his… maid… outfit… Fundy opted to ignore that, instead studying the rest of H. He had brown hair and blue eyes, along with a beard. He had horns, which pushed the fact that he was definitely a demon. And who was Fundy to judge how a demon dressed, anyways? Though, he did seem to be infatuated with Fundy, as far as Fundy could tell. But maybe it was just Fundy’s mind playing tricks on him.

“Punz, a demon of greed.” Punz wore a white hood, his horns poking out from the front of his hood. He was blonde, with sky blue eyes… hard to believe he was a demon, though Fundy could see it with the amount of gold on his attire. He had a smug look on his face, too, which exasperated Fundy slightly.

“You can call me Dream, I’m a demon of pride.” Fundy could just barely see Dream’s golden hair under his hood and mask. He had a similar attire to Punz, but his hood was attached to his armor instead of his clothes. Dream’s legs seemed to fade into nothing, just floating in mid-air. His mask was dark and sinister, but Fundy felt that it was more of a cover-up than anything else. There was a white being with an empty smile curling around Dream, staring right at Fundy. 

“I’m Sam, a demon representative of envy.” Sam had green hair, and he had a mask that was green too, with an insignia that Fundy knows he’s read about somewhere in the precious books of the church. If Ranboo were here, Fundy nearly let a smile cross his face, he would probably joke about how the man was literally green with envy, practically every part of his attire was green. Fundy couldn’t see much of his face from under that mask either.

“My name’s George, I represent sloth.” George had brown hair and glasses that reminded Fundy of sunglasses, but also not. Fundy couldn’t really tell if George was a demon, apart from the cracks that ran down his cheeks. Though, the man did sound extremely tired. He had a red robe with blue patterns threaded into it on, covering the rest of his body. He also had clouds surrounding him, though they were ominously red and black(not that Fundy minded, he did still want to know how the clouds felt like-)

“I’m 5up. I’m a demon of gluttony.” He had a beanie(that oddly reminded Fundy of a turnip) on with his horns growing out of it. His outfit showed off his chest and arms mostly, and Fundy has to admit that he had muscles. He had belts around his outfit, and small metal chains dangled off of his wrists. 

“Demon of wrath, Sapnap, but just call me Sap if you want.” Fundy doesn’t really know if he trusts the demon of wrath to fiddle around with his lighter, but he doesn’t want to find out what’ll happen if he takes it away either. He had a headband pushing his hair back, and there were ashes and small flames appearing in the air that surrounded him. His outfit seemed more casual than the other demons, but Fundy would probably be wearing the same if he had to pick between heavy armor or woolen clothes. 

“Well, that’s that.” Fundy scratched his cheek. “Listen, I didn’t really expect you guys to actually show up, so you can just leave if you want.”   
The demons all looked at each other, before bursting into laughter. “Again, not how this works. You need to tell us what to do.”   
“Yeah, and I’m telling you to leave.” 

“Nope, you can request us to do anything other than that.” Dream’s words made Fundy fully regret trying to do the ritual.

“Look, this place is a church. You can’t possibly be serious about staying in a holy place like this.”   
“And you couldn’t possibly be serious about summoning demons into a place like this, but here we are~” Fundy didn’t even have to look at 5up to know that there was a smirk on his face. 

“...touché.” Fundy muttered. “Fine. I want to be free from this church.”   
“Free from this church?” George yawned. “You can just pack up and go, y’know…”   
“No, I can’t.” Fundy grimaced. “My father’s the pastor here and I don’t have anywhere to go, other than to my uncle’s place. But the church would have both of our heads if I went there.”   
“Why?” Sam leaned against a wall, staring at the pictures that hung on the opposite walls of the room. 

“My uncle adopted demons,” Fundy’s words left the room in immediate silence. “So my father kicked him out.”   
“Your father is a pastor,” Sapnap repeated,”And your uncle adopts  _ demons _ .”

“Yeah, and my mother’s gone. My other uncle works closely with my dad even though he doesn’t believe in the church. My uncle’s best friend who’s practically my adopted uncle works as an exorcist for the church. And my grandpa is who knows where, I just know he won’t be proud of what my dad’s become. My family’s weird that way.”

“Well, it shouldn’t be too hard, still. You just need to find a really far away place to settle down, maybe have a farm or something. Change your name and appearance.” Punz’s words made Fundy groan.

“I wish it were that easy.”

“Well,” H mused,”We could always stay with you until we find out how to help you, right, master?”

Fundy groaned again. He was never going to get used to this. “Do I have a choice?”

“Nope,” all of the demons chimed in unison. 

Well, here goes the story of how a pastor-in-training charms 7 demons by sheer accident.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka Punz accepts his fate as H drives himself mad!/j  
> Hope y'all enjoy :,)  
> I'm properly just gonna perish at this point. We have 200+ prompts.... guys. please. send help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO FIRST THING’S FIRST(or, er, second, with the summary in the way-), AS FAR AS I AND THE FUNDY DESERVES BETTER DISCORD SERVER HAVE BEEN MADE AWARE, QUACKITY IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SHIPPING SO WE HAVE MOVED ROLES AROUND! Now HBomb is a demon of lust and 5up is a demon of gluttony, while XD is Fundy’s Guardian Angel(then who is the true god? Guess we’ll see)  
> We decided to base the demons around the seven capital sins, but they are not direct embodiments of them. Now that that’s out of the way, enjoy the rest of the fics as I slowly lose my mind from the 200+ prompts(subject to increase) and the others laugh at my misery/j

H doesn't really know when he started to feel infatuated with Fundy, he’d been watching the man with great interest since he was a kid(as creepy as that sounds-). Maybe it was the way he listened so carefully to his father no matter what, the way he was desperate for his father’s approval reminded H of himself, in a way. 

He doesn’t know when interest morphed to infatuation. Not love, H’s current ‘love’ was shallow, after years of not having anything to feel for or with, could you blame him? Fundy was pretty, and he was nice, and put up with H no matter how much H irritated him-H was thankful for that. Most other humans would have snapped at H already, which is exactly what made Fundy so interesting to be hanging around. 

H loved poking and prodding around at Fundy, his exasperated sigh and annoyed but adorable glares sent H waves of emotion, which was new-or at least it was a change of pace for him.

But it wasn’t love, definitely not. 

Because demons of lust can’t fall in love. They just can’t. So H definitely wasn’t in love. He liked Fundy a whole lot sure, but that was just his Lust. That was it.

\---

Punz doesn’t really know if he likes this human he was assigned to.

He doesn’t seem to have any sense of greed whatsoever, and just shoots down whatever gifts Punz tries to give him. 

And yet, there was something about the ginger that made Punz continue trying. Maybe something in him felt that Fundy would be able to offer him something more valuable. Punz doubted it, considering this was a pastor’s son who lived in a church, but who knew?

At least he didn’t seem to be using him or his friends, and he seemed to genuinely want to leave the church.

Fundy reminds Punz of a fox, a sentiment that as far as Punz knew, was shared among the other demons as well. Maybe that was the reason for the pang he felt in his chest whenever he saw Fundy miserable, as much as he preferred Greed over everything else, he wasn’t heartless-even he would feel terrible seeing a miserable fox. Humans? Not so much. 

He couldn’t exactly tell why he liked being in Fundy’s room-it’s not like he owned anything valuable, and most of the golds and various other precious things were elsewhere in the church. All the same, he liked Fundy’s room better than his own anyways. Maybe it was the way the room smelt like cinnamon, warm and cozy, like a familiar sense of home. It was definitely the same scent as Fundy, not that Punz cared to know.

Well, if Punz had to give something to the human, it was his hair. It interested Punz, because Fundy’s father had neither white nor ginger hair. It shone like a fire opal-which was, oddly enough, one of Punz’s favorite gemstones because it reminded him of his friend, Sapnap. 

...Fundy’s hair was extremely smooth. This was a very random memory for his mind to flick to. (Mood, Punz, mood.) Punz couldn’t help but run his fingers through the man’s hair whenever he helped brush it. Normally he would protest-what kind of person makes a demon of greed do their hair? It was fine, though. Punz didn’t mind doing whatever unless he got his pay whenever it was he got to go back.

...go back where? Hell wasn’t a home. And his friends were right there with him. And yet he wanted to stay with Fundy more than he’s had with anyone else. 

Maybe it was because home was where his friends are. 

...or maybe it was because Fundy felt like home. 

“Punz!” 

“Welcome back. How was the visit to your uncle?” ‘ _ Just make small talk Punz. Don’t go back to your thoughts _ .’

“It was great-I got you something!”   
“Oh, is it gold or something?”    
“Nope, but I still think you’ll like it!”   
“What can a demon of greed possibly like that isn’t-”   
“Ta-da!” A bouquet of white magnolias. “Granted, I nearly fell into a swamp trying to get these, but it’s fine. You said that you liked white magnolias right?”   
“Huh, oh, yeah…I did mention that in passing once but… you remembered?...”   
“Yeah, I think remembering something someone likes is important. Do you want me to get a vase for these or do you wanna keep them somewhere yourself?”   
“N-no, I’ll just take them as they are.” They aren’t even  _ wrapped  _ properly. The flower arrangement was completely off, with bits sticking out here and there. A few of the petals were damaged, too. And yet… Punz’s cheeks flushed slightly. “Thank you.”   
Fundy smiled. “You’re welcome!”

And now the warm feeling at the bottom of his stomach was never going to go away, so Punz accepted his fate. He was in love.

**Author's Note:**

> I love you Fundy Deserves Better discord server.... i love y'all so much... thank you for this idea HAHAHDG


End file.
